Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
