U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize