I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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