she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
