what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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