told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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