Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
