I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
