Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
