I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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