nut hugger
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm like, not good at living.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
