True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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