I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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