I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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