I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
