Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
