I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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