Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
