I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize