Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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