yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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