**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
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