is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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