How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
