We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We are all done wearing pants today
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
