obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
