I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
