I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There r osticjed everywhere
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
