The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
