hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
