whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
