Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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