When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
