just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
