You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
babies were throwing up all over the place
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
