dude i'm inner monologue high
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
