its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
