I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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