Im at strip club and am horny
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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