1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
