I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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