It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
time to smoke my breakfast
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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