I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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