Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
