i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
