Dual....:-)
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
