Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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