Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
