I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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