dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
