Yo dont text me then not text me
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
North Korea, Best Korea!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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