Welp...herpes.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Randomize
