i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
