She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
