I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
