I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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