She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize