do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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