no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
