I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
